5am

I drank 3 glasses of Scotch Whiskey last night with my friends. I just have that kind of mood to make myself happier and to forget as much as unpleasant things happening recently. We drank till 5am. Thank you guys for accompanying me!

I'm really exhausted in the morning and finished my work at 3pm. Unluckily it rains and makes myself wet when I walked back home. I wait for something to happen but it never happened..

Sometimes, I wish it wasn't so damn hard, but I feel so low

I know it isn't right and not real fair but I can't control what's happening in my heart.

Last Goodnight

HOW CAN I SAY I LOVE HIM

WHEN I HARDLY EVEN KNOW HIM

HOW CAN I DARE TO TELL HIM

HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME

HOW DO I DARE TO HOPE

THAT MY FEELINGS AREN'T IN VAIN

WHEN DEEP INSIDE I KNOW

THAT WE CAN NEVER BE

HOW CAN I SAY I CARE FOR HIM

SO MUCH IT BREAKS MY HEART

HOW CAN I SAY I WANT HIM

WHEN I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT

TO FEEL THESE THINGS I'M FEELING

AND TO DREAM THESE DREAMS I DREAM

WHEN DEEP INSIDE I KNOW

THIS COULD BE OUR LAST GOODNIGHT

This poem was written by one of my friend.

I found it quite meaningful and makes me want to share

It meant alot to me, that even makes me cry.

untitled

I'm just a mysterious box that would no one able to unlock me.

I realise how much I grew up like last week

I realise how successful and powerful I can be

I promise that no one can stop me to walk on the road of success

I want to be stronger

To have all the spirits to push me into the word of confident and courages

I want to be what I dream to be

I won't turn back to my mistakes

And learn from them......

Message from God

You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough

You've kept your wounds open for long enough

The time has to come to let go, to heal

Keep the lessons and let the pain heal

Yes, you know what we are talking about...

...nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome going to be

You keep wanting to know how things will play out

Keep asking to see the future

God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future

because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront

So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty

To be alive means to not know...

...

It doesn't mean that I x love you when I x show you to the world,

Cause you are mine and not to be shared at all!!~~~

Am I?

There are lots of things happened around this few months,

Misunderstanding always built gap between the relationship,

How I hope these will ended asap...

Am i really that useless?

Am i really that stubborn?

Am i really that selfish?

Am i really the person that make a bad day?

I hope that we will never fight over small things

I hope we can try to understand each other thoughts

I hope that we can always hang a smile on the face everyday

I hope we try not to hurt each others heart anymore

I need a shoulder to cry on sometimes

I need to scream out whenever i'm stress out

I need a hug for warmness

I need to be protected

I can understand how a person changes from time to time

But i hope this will never happen,

I guess i really need to slow down,

and try to make a satisfactory ending...

I miss you, family and dogs!!!

I need to call the airasia customer services, I booked with master card and it showed error.. But then the seat i selected was taken where i guess it was me! Try to call then 4 times at this hour, but they are busy in line.. Used up my 30bucks credit in my phone.. what a waste!! GERAMNYA!!

Honeymoon?

Quite a while i didn't open my blog and talk craps about my life~ Been honeymoon for a few months. Nothing much really happened in this few months. We just had a lot of parties this few months until i want to mampus. This is Terlampau! Past few days, we went for a crazy day which there were alot of crazy sales with crazy people including us to shop crazily! Well i guess i spent about $200 all together. It was under my budget! Pwweeeuuuhhh.. Tht was lucky!

By the way, we had a wonderful night ystd. We made some dumplings where I'm really sucks in cooking. Oh well, it turned out prefect! They are prefect! What was so 'chuang' when my friends kept make me laughed PLUS video-ing! This is great! But it was really an enjoyable night!


Tomorrow, we are going for fishing! *Jump jump jump* I'm so happy as i love water so so much! I'm not going to fish but im going to play with the water! *Clap clap clap*

Few weeks ago, my sista shared a poem :


It's better to walk by faith than sight

In this path of urs and mine

And the darkest night

When there's no outer light

Is time for faith to shine

And others may do greater work

But u have ur part to do

And no one in all God's family can do it as well as u

Okay good night!


She is the strongest girl ever,
She is the One who hold the name of the leadership
And no one can surpass her
I want to be like her
To be like the one who brave enough to cross the wild jungle
I wish to follow her pathway
The only way to be successful!
And I don't care what other people say
I just have to do my parts!

Thanks sista~

Happy Valentines

Happy Valentines. For sure lots of people out there received a bunch of chocolates, roses, and some other romantic stuffs. Well last year, on the same day, I was at Melb airport. The place where i met my friend, Jia Yee. At the same time, it was her birthday! What a lucky gal. Anyway, guess i'm here birthday's present for last year. See how lucky she is. Haha. I bet she feels like slapping me now. Happy Sweet Buffday girl~

During this holidays, i taught my little bro on maths, geography and bm. Last week was his Pra-Pmr. Felt like want to kick him. Exam on the nxt day then only he opens the books today.[actually he copies me, haha]

Ystd went back to sibu. I went to do a prosedure on my face. The things that look like the pimples but not the pimples. Craps! After the prosedure, my face likes kena bite by the bees. Wtf. When out shopping, people giggle bout my face. And at night slept in btw my sis and mum, and i was facing left and right. I wonder do they had the nightmares in the middle of the night. I pity them. Well, now my face swollen like crap!

Leaving for Johor on 16th. Lazy to pack my stuffs. 

Anyway, Happy Birthday Jia yee!

God bless u as always~

See u soon!!

Myspace Friends Comments

A Gold Fish?

This morning woke up, i felt smthg uneasy with my eyes. So i went to take a look myself in front of the mirror. Oohh shit, my eye is swollen! Then i quickly went downstairs and asked my brother. 'Hey you, do u just hit my eye when i was sleeping last nite?' He laughed and pointed at my eye, 'A gold Fish' what the hell~

Well today i need to go for blood and urine test. So i need to bring the swollen eye with me! In order to cover it up, i decided to wear my new glasses.. Now thts look better~ During the test, the assistant injected on my left arm. Shit i know tht left arm is more painful than the right. So i asked her to do on the right. But then, she said the vessels on my right arm too small~ In the end, still go for the left arm. But what's the worst was, the assistant injected a few times on my left arm. Shit does she knows that it was actually painful? Ooohh my poor hand~ 

But no worries, we went to buy Roti Canai. Yummy~ Such a long time i havent eat roti canai. Then my brother ordered 2 roti planta for himself without my knowledge. Now this really pissed me off. What i do was.. i used my big goo goo eyes. But dont forget, my eye is still swollen. So it was really really funny. Haha. Well, i managed to persuade him. Then he gave me one roti planta.. Haha. =)

This few days kept raining. Hopefully the sky will turn blue soon or later. Anyway, i guess i left bout 10 days to go! Need to use my time wisely.. *peace*

My Gosh

Quite a while we haven't take pics together. Finally we are here! My mum's camera craps la.. If i knew this, i would bring my camera back! shit!! Altho it was a bit blur.. but still good~ Yeah still good.. See how tall is my little bro now?! ONE HEAD taller than me! Only a yr i havent met him and he was like BOMB plus more healthy (FAT)!!! HEHE. My sis also satu macam. Yes she is super slim and thin now! But still i like the previous size of her. A bit chubbier. Huahaha. And the second pic, there are my dogs.. Vickie and Brownie!! Ooopsssyy, i accidentally snapped brownie's little bro too.. Just ignore tht part!! DONT LOOK AT IT!! ITS MINE.. =.=

Well I promised my bro smthg again!

I promised him tht if he manage to get 

5As - $AUS100

6As - $AUS200

7As - $AUS300

for his coming PMR!!

I have to use this method to trick him since he loves money so much!!

I think im a bad sister!! Huahaha~ 

This is a dirty trick

Bad sister =p

Today went to JPJ to handle my driving license

What happened was..

My driving license suppose to renew on 1st Feb 2008..

So i was like one yr far behind!!

Shit this makes lots of troubles man!!

I need to do the 'surat rayuan'

My gosh dont know for how long i havent write BM essay for myself..

And this time i need to write a letter!

Hopefully i manage to renew my driving license!

Super duper troublesome.. SIGH

Only left 2 weeks to go!!

Sob sob~

Happy 2009

Finally I'm back for blogging!

Came back to msia on 15th Jan..

Super exhausted..

Overnighted for one nite!

But now im already at Home~

Just only came back then straight away went to salon to cut my stupid hair!

Done it without my mum knowledge!!

kakaka..

Then came back

she was super pissed.. and lectured me

Sigh wht so not good bout short hair??? HAR..

She complained tht im 'nan bu nan nu bu nu'

Dont know how many times she said tht..

Huahaha~

Well anyway,

Now is around Chinese New Year..

My sis bought some new year clothes for me

=)

In every new clothes,

We started our bitcy works..

TAKE PICS

Maybe after few days..

We are probably leaving for Sibu

My Wonderful place of birth

Do u know wht im going to do in Sibu??

Shhhh...

"I'm going to cut my hair again before I leave for Aussie" whispered

HUAHAHA (evil's laughs)

anyway, i left bout 2 more weeks to go..

sad thing to say!!!

BOring Friday!

Probably about this time on next week..

I'm already at my home play with vickie & Brownie

stupid boring day!

dunno wan to do wht!

Somemore today not working!

aih sien!

Left 6 more days!

i cant wait..

do the counting every single day

Like pat pho!

Dum dum~

Ooohhh God,

Pls let the time flies faster within this week ONLY

Summer Holiday!

Do u know how freaking busy i work in tassie?!
I'm super exhausted..
Wish to go back asap!!

I'm working in the Foodhall,
In the Farm,
In the Fish Factory!
WOW super busy + super tired..
But money comes to my bank after this!
hehe

During boxing day i bought a lot of stuffs
i bought clothes for my sis and bro..
Bought slippers for my dad and mum..
Plus i bought this silver bracklet for my mum..
And also necklace for my dad
All tgher i guess almost $500!!

Then my mum asked me to buy
- Honey
- Goat milk
- Lavender lotion
- Rolled Oat!!
Talking bout the rolled oat..
My mum always msg me to ask for the rolled oat..
'whr's my rolled oat? have u buy them yet?'
My gosh.. how the hell i know what it is.
Aduhai~

Somemore my bro wants 100 bucks from me!
All my money gone..
Can only heard the money machine sounds..
'Ka-ching Ka-ching'

Well anyway!!
i cant wait to go back!
I'm coming msia~
i got 11 more days to go..
*Giggling*

Happy New Cow Year!!!

Sis aka Anong

Today is my sister 22 yrs old birthday!
i just want to wish her happy birthday and
may all ur wishes come true..


it had been quite a while i didnt manage to talk to her
Because over some reasons..
Make me really miss to talk to her
She is now probably preparing for the exam~
So better not to disturb her


Within this month,

there was a lot of things happening~

And me and her were slightly....

It is so uncomfortable with this kinda feelings

But all i can do just give some times..

Everything will turn back to normal~



Me and her were argueing over some problems
But i told myself,
'i dont have to win every arguement'
'Agree with disagreements'
so i decided to go that way~


Anong, i just need to tell you something too..
'Dont take yourself so seriously. Cause no one else does'
This is the best presentation of a Happy Life~


You know that i hate misunderstandings..
I dont like Lies~
And sometimes i might mis-interpreted somethings
So i hope you dont take them seriously~
Thats all the msgs i want to send to u
Hoping all the best in ur exams..


Look forward to chit chat with you when we get our arse back to home!


Live with 3E's
ENERGY ENTHUSIASM EMPATHY
Live with 3F's
FAITH FAMILY FRIENDS


Smile and Laugh more.
It will keep the energy vampires away! =)


[53 more days to go]


Happy Sweet 22nd Birthday, Kompia~

Pals

Just feel like to blogging today..
Happy birthday pal, Betty
she probably is enjoying her day back in east timor
i dont know how to wish a bless to her
so ended up to bless via here!


today in the morning go play basketball
the hatest sport..
But just join for fun
then we played badminton~
while playing with this kinda sports
how i miss to swim..


this few days..
really stressed over a lot of things..
thanks to my friend to accompany me


im too blessed to be stressed


no matter how sad i feel,
i just need to get up, dress up and show up!
Cause no one is incharge of ur happiness, except YOU
that is what im all about~


i always tell myself,
no matter how good or bad the situation is, it will change!!
what others think of u, is none of ur business~

this make ur life even more easy!!


Each night before i go to bed, complete the following statements,
"I am thankful for...."
"Today i accomplished..."


Life isnt fair, but it's still good =)


Hey, happy birthday betty~
enjoy the holidays with families


p/s - 55 more days to go~ roar roar

End of the semester!

i went thru a lot of things within this semester..
something that is unexpected
But at the end,
it had lasted..

i make a lot of mistakes..
i could i be so..
aih, just forget it!!
anyway, i learnt a lot..
i think i have grown up again!!

"make peace for the past, and it wont mess up in the present"

me on this lonely island..
dunno what to do everyday..
i tell u what?!
all i can do is..
work and earn money..
thats all..
or else i will be wasting my time here..
i stay back for what???
TO WORK!!!

if i cant work as much as i can within this holidays..
i will be regreted!!
cause i would rather go back to my sweet home..

so i have to go to my targets..
Hunting for some jobs now!!
hope god will bless me
And let me get some farm jobs..

i left 57 more days to go back!!
doing the count down every single days..
soon or later the day for me to go back will come~

Everyday,
When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
'My purpose is to..... today.'

Time heals everything. Give time, time~

Update-ing

3 downs and 3 more to go!

cant wait for the exams to be ended..

im kinda having a new life since early of october!

thought everything will be changing

but it wasnt as much as i tot it was..

and i wanted it to be exactly the way it is

hey daddy, im a slow responder

so get used to it yah

hehe

yesterday having the sociology exam

it was a nighmare unit for me..

aiks but luckily the question came out

were those i read and memorised before..

i mean only some parts of it!

but thats enough to satisfy my lucks!

as i rarely have an exam luck..

so even that could make me happy~

after the exam straight away had a headache..

means i think too much

so i did use my brain to think anyway!

But actually the truth was....

i was over starving and not enough sleep..

once i ate my headache turned to be obidient!!!

kakaka~

FOOD IS MY MEDICINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

my exam ends on 5th nov..

really cant wait to enjoy the holidays

i will be the last person to go back

that's sad

u all leave me behind on this small island~

i want WORK WORK WORK during the holidays

since i stay back for 2 months

dont want to waste my time!!

after the exams,

im gonna...

1. watch movies

2. watch movies

3. watch movies

4. watch movies

5. watch movies

I WANT TO WATCH MOVIES!!!!!!

i miss u so much, my family..

i cant wait to go back!!!!

A temporary FreeSoul

yesterday which was Wednesday!!! we dued our last last assignment! am i dreaming.. so so so happy right now... never had a proper sleep for this few days! seems like a 1000 yrs nvr sleep b4.. But still need to star-dee for the exams! we have 6 exams think bout this.. distressed!!!!!! we cooked curry to celebrate the last ass-ignment wah this is the first time we ever eat spicy food here! normally not that spicy but yesterday yes it was yesterday! jia yee jumped here and there yesterday!! cause she was panicking wahahahaha!! some more at night time, we helped wei kenn to dye his hair.. RED COLOUR!! WHY NOT BROWN aduh! first time dyeing people's hair manually so FUN!!! make me wanna dye my hair as well.. but cannot later my mum chase at the back to kill me! we watched movie at midnight time! like the movie so so so much! it was bombastic the arrangement of the plot just awesome! pls: need to get back to study! thx for treating me so well~ =) i will always appreciate it!!!

Haunted!

i was haunted by this bloody ass-ignment!

i felt like hell

a piece of shit!

i know this is the last essay

but still this is too ridiculous..

what a stupidity essay..

cant take with the boriness of the essay!

NOT ONLY ME!!!

my frens as well..

we are on the same boat

i just done 300 words and im stucked..

i have another 1200 words to go!

wednesday submission day!

what the hell..

hack it

Not talking about the essay

yesterday we were acting bitchy!

we took pics in the lecture hall

^cause too boring^

the last pic that we took..

spoilt one lah

that lady really want to kick her!

she always stares at us wheneva we sat at hers back

she will be turning her head for 360 degrees!

and gives us that kinda stares

sometimes i really want to ask her

'is there something wrong with u'

wanted to grab her head to prevent her from spinning!!!!!

unfortunately, she appeared in the photo as the background..!

shit bugger~

damaged!!!!

i think tmr im going to ask her to explain about the pic!

im gonna make her lie down on the ground nxt time!

*cannot displayed the pic*

*it is violence!*

my sista called me just now..

she told me that she bought my new year's clothes already

some more she bought me 3!!

wow thats fast!

well she is having a good time now

travel the whole west msia with her frens!

i think i better get my arse back to the essay!

can somebody tell me that why we need to do the bloody essay!

uuuurrrrggghhhhhh~

9/13 weeks

this week is the 9th week of uni's life!i cant wait for the end of sems 2..im going 2b 2nd year nursing student!yay.. im a senior~ But, i need to be a nerd within this few weeks.. cause cause cause.. need to prepare for the exam! 6 EXAMS somemore.. how am i going to survive during the exam with one-eye closed need to go for work.. need to build relationship btw my friends need to chat with old friends need to do some cleaning in my room need to eat + sleep at the same time urgh hack it.. too much things to do!!! hardly can find my leisure time for my books... this week im working for 33 hours.. shit bugger! my mum was like, 'Why u don't want to tell your boss to let u work lesser?' i told my mum, 'im okay mum. bside im planning not to work during the exam' so yah.. i know im ur second princess! but but even princess needs to work hard.. =) sakit sakit dahulu, senang senang kemudian within this week i watched quite a lot of movies with my frens everyone squeeze in jia yee's room with the laptop on.. i love to watch movie with frens how i wish to go cinema at here!!! ceh ceh too exp~ during the last mooncake festival, i cant spend time with my friends as i was working.. a bit sad though But what make me happy is.. they told me the story of the day! it makes me felt like i was there as well.. thx ya jia yee! love u even more now!! On that particular night.. My mum was texting me, 'How are u going to celebrate ur mooncake festival?' i replied, 'Im working how to celebrate? are u going to cook a big meal tonight?' do u know what my mum answered? 'No, u two are no in (me and my sista), mama mana ada hati celebrate.' 'just rindu di belakang pintu' i laughed all by myself while im reading this!! u're such a cute mama.. on the other day, my mum asked me what am i doing right now.. that time i was watching movie and studying with my frens.. so i told her that.. then she replied, 'wah so li hai, one heart can many use' LOL!!! Well, i was talking to my mum yesterday.. my mum told me that Brownie miss me he bit my brown colour slippers and brought it with him everytime.. while he was sleeping he brought it under the car.. wheneva my mum want to take it away from him, he showed the sharpness of his teeth to my mum.. See, how wonderful Brownie is! He really miss me afterall.. i miss to bite his ears!!!!! Everytime im talking with my mum thru webcaming, he will be making a sound at the back as he heard my voice.. =) love ya.. hugz i left 4 months before i go back to msia!! one two three four!!! im patiently waiting for the time to come~